Thursday, February 2, 2012

What He Says... About Condoms

We're not talking about any old condoms here. No, sir. We're talking about all those fun colors and fancy flavors that surely make everything better. Or do they? Curious, I posed the question to the guys: Do the flavored ones really taste like fruit, and do the neon ones really make it more fun?

Stuart Wakefield:
I haven’t used either. Food and sex doesn’t really do it for me, and a neon condom would reduce me to popping a pill and playing Darth Viagra in Star Whores for the remainder of the evening rather than getting down and dirty.

It had to be really dark for us to see the glow-in-the-dark ones well. I don’t know that I’d trust a novelty one to do its job as much as a regular one, though. Since we don’t use condoms anymore, we were just playing with them--they were a Halloween party giveaway. There was mostly a lot of light sabre sound effects and getting tangled up in the blankets executing fancy maneuvers.
    The fruit ones we tried in the beginning for blowjobs just tasted "chemical" to me. Cherry cough syrup. Lemon Pledge. "Minty" Listerine. It was a good motivator for testing and commitment, I think.

Edmond Manning:
Why use a fruit-flavored condom when you can use real fruit? Mango... pineapple... mmmmm...
Messy. Sticky. Slobbery. These are a few of my favorite things.

Damon Suede:
Ugh. Yeah. No. Flavored condoms are pretty much a gag gift and taste like room freshener. Neon condoms (and other "fun" decorative options) are also gag (in both senses of the word) fodder...and if you’re paying attention to the color then either you’re having some feeble sex or you have a deep latex fetish that takes condoms to a whole new level of potency. Such ideas come from the mid-century realm of French ticklers and Spanish fly: kinky "gizmos" for anxious dudes wanting a magic bullet. No such animal, my friends. And of course, now these things have become wacky joke items destined for landfill and bachelor parties (or both simultaneously). If the sex is good the condom won’t matter, and if it’s bad, the condom certainly won’t help.

D.H. Starr: (in reference to Damon): How did you become so smart? You know shit I would never even think of researching. Very cool. And the comment about latex fetish made me think of the last HBOReal Sex special I saw.

D.H. Starr:
I’m gonna cheat on this one and answer a related but different question. Condoms or no condoms in erotic romance?
    For me, condoms are just not sexy. They are practical, safe, responsible, but not sexy. I find that, similar to the cheating issue, some readers get very upset when two characters have sex and do not use condoms. Is it that we, as authors who describe explicit sexual acts, must own the responsibility of portraying responsible acts? I post this as a question...if you know you are reading fantasy, does that moment of stopping to get and put on the condom really enhance the experience for you? Or does the lack of addressing the issue of using condoms rob from the flow of the story and your enjoyment of the sexual acts?
    I’m torn on this issue. In one sense, disease transmission is a reality in contemporary times and therefore it is unrealistic to think two strangers (or partners who have not chosen to become monogamous and tested negative together) would have sex without condoms unless they didn’t care about themselves or their partner. In that sense, it robs from the romance because of the emotional message that lingers. But what if a moment carries the two away and they don’t use condoms, or they address the issue, claim they are safe, and forego the use of condoms? Is that somewhat acceptable or is it still a line which should not be crossed?
    There have been specific instances where I’ve chosen to have my characters use condoms and other times where I’ve made a conscious choice for them not to. In each case, thoughts and discussions about the repercussions (or why they know it’s safe to do so) take place. I’m very interested in people’s thoughts on this.

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Now its your turn to share. Neon green or cherry cough syrup?

Drop by on February 16th, when the guys share their thoughts on... Random acts of kindness. Oh, you thought it was going to be something juicy? *g* There will be a little something something going on that week. You'll just have to come by and see what. ;-)

And don't forget, if you have any topics, questions or photos you'd like the guys to tackle, just shoot them my way. We'll make sure you get the credit.

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Previous topics:
New Year's Resolutions


  1. Ugh! Flavored ones are icky. Um..not that I know from personal experience or anything. *looks around shiftily*

    1. LOL. I do not believe your statement of "innocence" there A.P. (stands for Aunt Poppy-isn't that nice?)

    2. Innocent? You tried to get me to play kinky bingo not even five minutes ago! LOL!! Come on Summer, try it as a word challenge for your current WIP. You just wanted to see how dirty my mind was, I'm on to you, Dennison!

    3. A.P. I like it. :D

      And I'm innocent, I tell ya! INNOCENT...

      Kinky bingo is a PERFECTLY valid past time. You know. For you. Not me. Cause I would never do something like that.

    4. YOU'RE innocent?!?! *Stares at smexy video given to him from A.P. with Aiden*

      Innocent my ass.


    5. Kinky bingo is boring. I like kinky never know which body part will end up where!! ;)

    6. Note to self: Never share smexin with nephews without prior notice that such smexin will never be used against you on a blog where you are claiming to be innocent.

      And kinky bingo is not boring! know, from what I've heard. Although kinky twister is fun in

      Never mind.

    7. I know better. I am innocent, not naive.

      And leave it to Summer to think kinky is boring.


    8. *snorts* Speaking of smexiness......

      I may have possibly watched said video repeatedly....*puppy dog face*

      Got any more? LOL.

    9. LC is going to ground us from her blog!

      XXX, you wanted to leave me in that position for hours! I had things to do!! I swear!!

    10. To my darling nephew...I don't know WHAT you are talking about. You're grounded. *grumbles* Can't share anything.

      Hey Summer...Kinky is as Kinky Does! :D

    11. OMG!! Vicktor, are you talking about what Dawson did to Aidan??? I have the same video! I think I need to call it a day when I recognize a porn title! *blushes*

    12. *snort* Clearly I am the only innocent one around here. You all are a bad influence on sweet little ole me. >;-D

    13. Summer, I am sad now, that's not the one I was talking about. I just found out that I meant Jesse and Addison. But I am intrigued by this Dawson and Aidan video now.....

      LC, *falls out laughing*

    14. I'm (more than) kind of partial to what Chandler did to Aiden. *shivers*


    15. I think that in the interest of fairness you should all send me whatever videos of Aiden that you have and I can look them over and give my opinion. *Nods* Yes, this seems fair to me.

      *sweet smile*

    16. Then I have no clue what you are talking about Vic! No clue! LOL!!

    17. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Very amusing and insightful comments (mostly gave me the much needed morning laugh!)

    Personally, I think that the condom is just for practical use - if people find fun in it then good for them! But for me, I just get distracted from the main event *grin*. But it has been long that we have stopped using them so now I can think back and say that yeah it used to put a bit of damper in the process (something similar to a jolt of reality hahah!)

    As for DH Starr's comment - I think people, many a times, confuse the characters in the book to be representative of the author's thoughts and opinion. While I wouldn't criticize going bareback I would definitely raise eyebrow if (in today's day) there weren't any repercussions. If the characters stop midway and put on condoms it doesn't take away from the flow of the story - but then the author shouldn't spend three lines on how the condom was rolled on and how it felt because THEN it would interrupt the intensity of the moment.

    In a story that I read, going bareback would definitely be a HUGE step in regards of the commitment. But at the same time if one of the characters say "I am clean" and then the other characters trusts him on that issue, the first question that pops up into my mind is "How do you know that he is telling the truth?" It might be my paranoid self that is talking, though :)

  3. Ok...Can I just say that having someone say, "I am your father" and breathing really heavily while banging the headboard would be such a HUGE turn off for me.

    Edmond: Messy. Sticky. Slobbery. YUM! I agree with you!

  4. LOL at ALL the comments. O.M.G. I laughed so hard the neighbors are gonna have to read the blog now. I loathe condoms of any sort. I do however like to be disease free. For me? They are always a necessary evil...though a little Light Sabre play would be riotously funny to me. Er, I'd even pay to see it. Not that that's a hint or anything. Um...not really.

  5. OK neither of us mentioned Luke or his father, but there was a little "help me, Obi Wan, you're my only hope!" I do really like Edmond's real fruit idea, but I'm not really interested in seeing PSAs in my romances. I don't read them to learn how to be a responsible adult. I read them for new sexual position :)

  6. In reference to D.H. Starr's question, I will admit it bugs me when characters skip the condoms. Well, to clarify, it doesn't bother me if we don't see clearly on page that they are using them if it is sort of assumed they are but not explicitly stated.

    And I don't mind if they don't use them and it is acknowledged they are not using them for a particular reason. I think that can add an interesting aspect to the story. What bothers me is when we get clear detail that they aren't using them (like there are comments about one guy feeling the other's come), but it is never really acknowledged why. Are they committed? Just don't care? Caught up in the moment?

    It actually pulls me out of the story when this happens much more than when we see the condom use, but maybe that is bc after reading a million m/m romances I am just used to it.

  7. I may or may not have used flavored condoms and glow in the dark condoms once upon a time....back when I was just a fresh-faced freshman, college sounds more responsible....and I completely agree with Damon's comments about them all. The glow in the dark ones should all be cut into stars and put on your ceiling and the flavored ones should be given to an ex that you don't like.

    I may or may not have done that too.

  8. D.H.- I would rather have my characters suited up unless they are in a committed relationship. I haven't read a lot of stories where condoms are used for blow-jobs, only penetration sex. I wouldn't consider it a PSA so to speak, but I would like a story to be realistic.

  9. Never tried flavored or gitd condoms. I'm more interested in flavored body paint. =)

    As for DH's question - as long as it is addressed somehow that relates to the story, I'm good with whatever happens. I do notice if it's not addressed, but I don't think it makes sense in all situations to always have to wear a condom.

    Of course, if it's not a contemporary, all bets are off.

  10. Flavored condoms would only makes sense for oral sex, and condom BJs are so unsexy. I'd rather read about some sensuous frottage instead.

    However, Victor J. Banis made colored condoms rather sexy in on of his books.

    D.H. Starr: It can be distracting when the author goes into too many details about the condom, but it doesn't have to be so. It can be addressed in passing, a single adjective can suffice. In contemporary stories it's definitely an issue, as it reflects on the character.